hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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