just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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