Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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