didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
