I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize