similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
