Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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