Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
