I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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