When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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