I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
