so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize