No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
