JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
