she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
