I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
