YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish you could order shots online.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
