Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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