Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
