your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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