she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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