Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
