Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
