Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
