i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
