I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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