Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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