Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
