I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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