Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
