i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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