dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize