ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
