Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i think i have two assholes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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