Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
