i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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