If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
