Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
