dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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