walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
