My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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