you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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