So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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