drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
