Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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