My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize