Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
