i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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