I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
