I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
