I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
