She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
