when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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