is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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