Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
