Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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