Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
