You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
