I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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